Almost.

Day 29. Who are you?

Simple, I'm Sarah.
So I'm really good at talking, but I'm not very good at talking about myself. I used to be fantastic but somewhere something changed, it's like a switch was shut off. I cant really explain. But I think I know why. I thought I used to know who I was but now I'm no where near sure. The past year of my life has really changed who I am and how I live. I've had to expierence things that 17 years olds shouldnt have to go through. Yeah, it's made me stronger, but it's had a deeper effect than just making me grow up too fast as well. The other night I was in a terrible mood, and as usual I took it out on my family. My mom came down to me and said "Sarah, I think you've been so angry and so unhappy for so long, that you dont truely know what happiness is anymore." The truth of the matter is, I dont think I know what it is anymore either. I keep hoping and praying that things will look up, that something will change, that I'll get what I need, and have what I miss, back. But thus far.. nothing. I find myself day after day trying to cover up the fact that I'm unhappy, and unfullfilled. Trying to act like everything is ok. It works for a bit. But I think I'm just manifesting the problem even more when I try to forget it. I need to solve it. I'm not sure what to rely on anymore or how to find myself in this mess that I've fallen into. I'm still searching for who I am. Maybe I'll find out who I am tomorrow, maybe I'll find out 6 years. All I know is that I need to focus on the little steps right now, by getting myself out of tmy own personal hell, then I'll create the whole picture. So for now I'm just simply Sarah Maile McClure. Take it or leave it. Yadayadayada. But I know, depressing post. But it's my blog, my feelings.. Why not?

Tweeenyate.

Day 28. Two confessions.

Errrrr, I dont really know. Let me sit her for a second and think..

Confession one;
I talk to myself, like a lot. I have full on conversations with myself.. and my dog too. But technically I'm still talking to myself cus she's not really listening. But really I talk to myself all day. I think I'm insane.

Confession two;
I'm selfish. Really really selfish. I try not to be, but sometimes it gets the best of me. I dont mean that I'm stingy, or that I want lots of things from people. It's more or less I wont do things to make other people happy. Like if I know if I do this one thing and it will make someone really happy, but I just dont want to do it, I wont. Regardless of how happy it will make someone else. I'm not saying that's a daily thing, cus usually I will do something just to make someone else happy. But sometimes, every once and a while, I only think of myself.. and it's baaaad news. Good thing it's not 24/7.

Almost done.

Day 27. Perfume of choice.

I wear a lot of different perfumes, but I'll go in order of my favs.

True Religion.
Juicy Couture Viva La Juicy.
Ralph Lauren Hot.
Nollie, pink and green editions.

Pink Sugar.

Greeeeat news!

So today I found out that I got accepted to the University of Utah! I am incredibly stoked to be continuing my future there. I'm not sure what I want to do yet, but I'm getting there. I think that I want to major in business management and minor in communications. With of course, a few photo classes. But after my four years at the U I still plan to move onto cosmetology school at Paul Mitchell. But I'm just sooo excited to start my journey at such an amazing place! Great news.


But of course, there has to be some bad news, right? I'm am devastated to say... Gossip Girl will not have a new episode until January 24th. Oh. My. God. What am I going to do? Oh I dont know! I might just go insane. Ah, crap.

Challenge is back.

Day 26. Turn offs and turn ons in the opposite sex.

Off;
Tall tees, gross.
Baggy pants.
Ompaloompas. Yeah, spray tans are gross.
DRUGS.
Shirtless pictures in a mirror all over FB? Could you quit being a girl.
D-bags. Nuff said.

On;
Sweet guys.
Dresses well.
Can hold a conversation.
Can laugh at himself.
Respectfulness.
Someone who's interested in more than just sex.

Bhahaha, my dad is the best. Recap of the conversation that just went down between us.
S; daaaadddd, you should go get me some food. I havent eaten.
D; no, you go get the food.
S; buuuuut I dont wanna moveeee.
D; well neither do I.
S; buuuut.
D; I'll let you drive my truck. Well no. Well yeah. I mean. Ok I guess you can take it.
S; BAAAHHHHHH. I dont have any money...
D; I do.
S; Okkkkkkaaayyyy! I'll go, you brat. You're so good at this game.
D; I know, I've had lots of practice. Plus you're young and all, you can take all the movement. I'm almost two days older than dirt.
S; HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

So now I'm am stuck going to get us lunch. Oh the things I do. But I get to drive the Silverado, so I guess it's ok. And I get free food... Phahaha, I love our relationship.

PS. I'll get back to the challenge soon. I've just had other things to say lately.

Just a little break.

So considering it's the first day of December, I figure I'll take this opportunity to publish my Christmas wishlist.

A pony. [Duh]
A million candy canes.
A new toothbrush.
Some bubble bath.
An episode of Gossip Girl where Chuck and Blair are back together for longer than an hour.
Toy Story blanket.
A lightbulb.
Some green Post-its.
A Cafe Rio salad.
Some craft supplies.
A strand of Christmas lights for my room.
An acceptance letter from the U of U with a scholarship that matches the one I got from Westminster. [$9000]
And a pretty picture of me in the snow.

Yaknow, the norm. (;

25.

Day 25. Ten movies you love.

I'm pretty sure that these are going to be ridiculous. No particular order.

1. Toy Story. [Alll of them.]
2. Thelma and Louise.
3. Elf.
4. How The Grinch Stole Christmas. [The Jim Carrey one.]
5. Disturbia.
6. Transformers.
7. 27 Dresses.
8. 13 Going On 30.
9. The Devil Wears Prada.
10. Preminition.

Ok there are a million more, but I thought of these first. I love watching movies. It's a great way to fill time.

Tweeentyfour.

Day 24. Someone you would switch lives with for a day and why.

Easypeasy; Miley Cyrus.

It's not that I'ma crazed Miley fan or anything. But it'd be really interesting to see how she lives her life. Is it really as hard as she says it is? Is it really as easy as the media says it is? Is her dad's hair really that ugly? I wanna live a day in her shoes, and be followed by the paprazzi. I wanna be famous for just one day. Plus she has the ability to look gorgeous in sweats...

23.

Day 23. 5 things that gross you out.

Feeet; Oh gosh, feet are distgusting. I hate them. I even hate my own. Dont touch me with your feet, dont get near me with your feet, dont even show me your feet. YUCK.

Bloody messes; Like cuts, and stuff. I hate it when someone has a nasty bloody battle wound and they try to show it to you! No I dont want to see what's underneath your nice layer of skin.

Raw meat; It's jsut gross. It's kinda bloody ^^^ and just gross. I dont like it. It's fine cooked though..

Spideeers; What more is there to explain? They're just nassssty.

Baby spit; I know mothers think it's adorable when their little baby slobbers everywhere, but it's gross. Clean that stuff up before anyone notices! Sheesh.

Srrrry I'm just easily grossed out. Ha

Fanksgiiiving.

So today is Thanksgiving! Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I woke up bright and early today and made 4, yes 4 pies. Now I'm just relaxing. But soon I need to shower and get ready for dinner with the Zuro's! It's a tradition that we've had for about... 6 years. We celebrate Thanksgiving with them every year, and it's greaaaat fun. Plus I'm wearing a super cute outfit this year.. And then after dinner I'm supposed to pick up Caitie and we're going Black Friday shopping! I'm nervous.. I dont wanna get killed. Haha I hate being stressed out while shopping but I have a feeling that will happen tonight. Oh well, it'll be fun. Ha

Thanksgiving crew.

Before Black Friday.

22.

Day 22. What are your favorite lyrics from a song played by your favorite band/singer/artist?

...What if this answer happens to be the same as the answer I had two posts ago?
Ok, ok. I'll do my old favorite song to makeup for my lack of originality.

Second fav song.
Casablaca Sucked Anyways; ADTR as well.
I’ve spent so much time trying to fix your life that I forgot about mine.
This time I’m putting my foot straight through the floor.
You wont be walking through any of my doors anymore.
So tell me what’s so wrong with me that you could leave so easily.
You threw this all away for the chance to leave me.
She makes me happy.
She sparks a light inside you’ve never failed to blow out.
Look at everything.
Look at all that you’ve become…nothing more than a memory.
So tell me what’s so wrong with me that you could leave so easily.
You threw this all away for the chance to leave me.
You make me sick with every move you make.
When will you find your place in this world?
Cause it will never be beside me again.
So tell me what’s so wrong with me that you could leave so easily.
You threw this all away for the chance to leave me.

Tweeenyone.

Day 21. A thought you've had this past week.

Be positive.
Lately I've been thinking a lot about how negative I am towards things, and how if I'm in a bad mood I end up holding myself back from relaxing and having a good time. So for the past week I've been trying to stay positive, and just have fun. Dont worry about the future, worry about the present. Thus far I've done pretty well.

20.

Day 20. Your siblings.

I only have one. We're three years appart, and sometimes we get along. Ha but she's fun.
Stephanie;

And I did take this wonderful picture of her. I make her be model in a lot of my photoshoots. Ha

Nyneteen.

Day 19. A song you love at this very moment.

It's complicated; ADTR.

Ateteeen.

Day 18. A habit you wish you didn't have.

I dont really have any habits that are bad, I guess. But I have a.. character flaw, I s'pose, that I wish I didnt have.

Not being able to focus on the present.

I am terrible at living in the moment, and being happy for the time being. I constantly look back on the past and say "Oh this is what I was doing at this time last year, sure wish I could go back." Or something like that. I miss my past, so so much. And because I'm so focused on it I forget to live in the present. Some days are just worse than others. Sometimes I get along great for weeks without referring to the past, and other times I cant go a few hours without it. I dont know how to change it.. But I'm working on it.

"We face tomorrow as we say goodbye to yesterday."

17.

Day 17. 5 things you are looking forward to the rest of the year.

Since there is only about a month and a half left, it's a small list anyway.

1. Okkkk, I am looking forward to tonight. Ha I'm going to my first college party, and it's sure to be a blasty. Cant have too much fun though, cus I have to work at 7 in the morning tomorrow..

2. Thanksgiving! Every year we spend Thanksgiving dinner with our family friends, the Zuro's. And this year is sure to be better than the rest. Plus the food is just too good.

3. Decemeber 4th and 18th. My cousin is shooting a wedding, and a family portrait session and she asked me to come along and help! I hope to get some great pictures for my portfolio.

4. Christmassss. It's going to be a Christmas without presents this yaer, because none of us have money. But that's ok, we'll get a chance to remember that Christmas is not about the gifts. It's about the spirit. Pluuus we're putting up our tree this Sunday. Stoked.

5. Every day that is to come. I may not always be the happiest person, but everyday is a gift, not a given right. I have to remind myself to take each day as it comes, and find something good in it.

Sweeeet sixteen.

Day 16. Post a picture of you when you were young.

Some days I truly wish I could just go back to being a little kid. When all your worries consisted of what game you were going to play with at recess, or should you pack tuna or ham for lunch. But then I realize all the potential that I still have ahead of me, and some days I'm even excited to grow up... some days. But it's nice to have the memories of when things were simple.

I loved that halloween. Being a Disney princess was always top notch. Plus it's my nickname. (:

Fifteeeen.

Day 15. If you were stranded on an Island, who would be with you and which limited 10 items would you two have?

I hope I'm not stranded on the island forever.. Cus I'm probably not going to be logical with my choices. Do I have to bring a person? If I do, then I pick this one kid that I really need to work some things out with right now. It'd give us time to think, and since we're stranded we'd have to talk. Hahaha. That's my thought process.

1. I would take a phone, cus there is going to be service. I'd just call my family and let them know where I was. And then turn it off and save the battery for future use. Cus my blackberry can last for 3 days without charging, and that's with some use. So yes, there is service.

2. Gum. Cus my breath is going to stink..

3. Sunscreen.

4. A suitcase, with clothes, and a swimsuit, and normal stuff needed for a trip.

5. Food, enough to last the whole time we're there.

6. A big comfy bed and pillows. I'm not a fan of sand in sketchy places.

7. Probably some board games, or something.

8. A book, or three.

9. A million water bottles, so we dont get thirsty, or run out.

10. Aaaand, my camera.

Fourteen.

Day 14. Your favorite quote.

I'm not much of a quote person. But when I see one I like I write it down for future reference. I'll let you know the ones I've written down recently. Dont know who said any of these though. Ha

"The past can hurt. You can either run from it, or learn from it."

"We face tomorrow as we say goodbye to yesterday."

"Everything will change when your desire to move on exceeds your desire to hold on."

"Sometimes you have to let things go, so something better can come into your life."

"Never regret anything, because at one time it was exactly what you wanted."

Does anyone else see a trend here? Ha I need some better inspirational quotes. But on the plus side, I just bought the new ADTR CD, and they always have the best lyrics. So maybe I'll find a new quote within the CD.

13.

Day 13. Take a picture of the contents of your purse. Explain if needed.

I havent been carrying a purse since about August.. Dont know why. Simplicity I s'pose. But I always have my wallet, keys, and phone. So we can do that... Right?


From left to right;
1. Cute lil' Louis Vuitton wallet... well coin purse. Carson gave it to me and I looove it.
2. 5 dollaaas and 87 cents. Ha about all the money I have to my name right now.
3. The fortune from a Panda Express fortune cookie. Ha it fit me though. "Smile! A frown may turn others away." Ok confession, it's only in there still cus I forgot about it and I havent put it somewhere else yet. Haha.
4. Student ID. Pretty sure it's the best picture I've ever taken in my life. I am in love with itt.
5. Debit card. Preeee much useless right now, seeing as I just spent 700$ on a new camera.. So I am broke.
6. Drivers license. Def one of the ugliest pictures I've ever taken. I hate it. I hide it from people. Ha
7. Cafe Rio card. Best food, ever.
8. Library card, cus I'm a big ol' nerd. I spend lots of time there. I love reading.
9. Mav card. Pretty much go to Mavrick everyday at lunch. Diet Coke with vanilla!
10. My crackberry, literally. Accidentally banged it on a table, so now it's cracked and crappy. But oh well, it's all I have.
11. Blanche.. Well the keys to Blanche.. AKA. My car. AKA. My grandma-mobile. Ha

Twelve.

Day 12. A thought for the day.

Everything will change when your desire to move on exceeds your desire to hold on.
My thought for today because, about two weeks ago I did something that pretty much explained this quote. But the more and more I think about it I think I still have the desire to hold on to my past. I want the desire to move on, but at this point I dont have as much strength as I thought I did. ...Ah this sucks. But tomorrows another day, so bring on the rain.

Leven.

Day 11. Nicknames you have; why do you have them.

Smiley; Def my favorite, and most used. I got this nickname foreeevvver ago, from a family friend. Our families were out boating together and I guess he was having a really crappy day and the whole day I was just smiling and I was so happy that he started calling me Smiley. My parents picked up on it and it sstuck. I loveee this nickname. All my others are mean. Ha
I got this made foreverrr ago at the Christmas Expo. So cute. VVV

Blondie;My mom started this one. Sometimes I'm a little bit on the slow side, or I do something really stupid. So that's where that came from.

Ditz; Self explainitory. That would be from my lovely sister. She's so nice to me. Oh wait..

Snow White; A lot of my friends anda family call me that in the winter, because I get so white, and if I dont dye my hair it's starts to go really dark. Ha

S; Yeah, I kind of started that one myself.. But it stuck so it's oooookkk.

(:

Ten.

Day 10. What do you look for in a guy/girl?

I'm simple minded. I just want someone I can be myself with, and someone I can be completely happy with. I want to be able to run home to them when I've had a bad day, and have them cuddle with me. I want someone who knows me better than I know myself. Someone who notices the little things, in me, and around us. Truth be told; I want the type of love you see in the movies. The never ending, perfect relationship. Dont tell me there's no such thing, because when you find the right person, there will be such a thing. (:

Nine.

Day 9. Put your ipod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up and how they make you feel.

1. Silence; Mt Eden. Goood song, makes me want to dance.
2. Take Me Away; BrokenCYDE. Uh I dont think I've listened to this song.
3. Have Faith In Me; A Day To Remember. LOVE. ADTR is my favorite band. New CD in 5 days!
4. Sacrilegious; NeverShoutNever. I'm not a huge fan of him.
5. Brain Damage; Pink Floyd. You gotta love Pink Floyd, I dooo.
6. Unbeautiful; Lesley Roy. Good song,but brings back bad memories. Ha
7. Ice Ice Baby; Vanilla Ice. Hhahahahahaha. All I can say.
8. Hold On For Dear Life; Icarus Account. I love them. So glad the radio doesnt know about them yet.
9. Not Ready To Make Nice; Dixie Chicks. Oh this song is a gem.
10. Wish You Were Here; Pink Floyd. This song has the best lyrics.

8.

Day 8. If you could have any pet regardless of what it is, what would you want?

Uh, I'm going to be boring here. What I want really bad is... A kitten. I've always wanted a cat, always, always, and my mom just will not let me get one! Such a meany. But then I found out I'm allergic to them too.. But it's not like a 'I'm going to swell up and die allergy.' It's a 'Oh my god I'm super itchy I need to wash my hands and stop touching this cat allergy.' Ha but it still sucks. I'm determined to get a cat when I move out though, regardless of my allergies.

Ah why are they so cute?

7.

Day 7. Complete the sentence, "I am.."
I am Sarah,
I'm full of thoughts. I'm not a shy, or quiet person. I'm a people pleaser. I tell it like it is, no white lies. I'm stubborn. I'm a child. I'm happiest when I'm with my family. I'm continuing to discover who I really am.

Nummber 6.

Day 6. What did you do today?

Considering it's the middle of the day.. I dont have much to say yet.

Sooo, today I started my day as usual. Woke up at 6:50 got ready for school, did my makeup, got dressed, yaknow. Then I had to walk to school cus I thought my dad was taking my car to get the oil changed. Nope, thats tomorrow. So then I had Photography class, it was fun today. I got to edit the pictures from the photoshoot I did yesterday. Then I had to go to US Gov, ewwwie. I hate that class. But today no one had their assignment ready so we got to sit and talk the whole period. Not bad. Then I had Lifetime Activities, which is basically P.E. But we had a sub so we just played H.O.R.S.E. and talked. I won in H.O.R.S.E. though, it was great. I didnt even get a letter. Woooohooo. Then I got a ride home from Evangeline cus it was snowing and I was wearing TOMS, and it was a bad combination. So when I got home I was hungry. So I made some Spenish Rice, and had to clean up that giant mess. And now I'm sitting on the couch watching Jerseylicious and doing this. But P.S. I love that show almost as much as Gossip Girl. (:

Since my day was boring I'll tell you what I still have to do.
At 2:45 I've got to pick up my sister from school, and maybe take Caitie home.. Maybe. Then I have to go the bank and get some money so I can pay for my HTVS sweatshirt tomorrow. And then I have to go to the library and return Mortal Engines and pick up Mockingjay. Yayy. And then at 8 it's Gossip Girl! But yeahhh, Monday's are boring. Ha

Here's a picture from the shoot I worked on yesterday, it went greaaat.

Cinco.

I've been keeping up on this pretty well, lets hope I can continue. Ha

Day 5. Something that makes you feel better.

Sleep, a good book, family, a friend, Gossip Girl, or a good memory.

When I'm having a down and out day I usually turn to one of those. When I sleep I can just leave the world behind me until the next day, when things are usually better. When I read, or watch Gossip Girl I fall into the life of someone else for just a minute, and I usually forget what's wrong, or I find something inspiring in a book or the show and put it towards my upset mood. And as always, family and friends are going to be there to bring you out of your slump. They're going to try to do anything to cheer you up, or laugh. There's no better medicine than friends and family. When I get bummed out about how my life is nothing like it used to be I turn to an old memory and focus on how great things were and how in time things will grow to be their own new great memory.

Four.

Day 4.What’s your guilty pleasure tv show, food, and magazine?

I dont particularly feel guilty about my guilty pleasures. Ha

TV show: Not hard, at all. Gossip Girl. I live for the drama and the happiness. I am such a Chuck and Blaire fan. I'm dying that they're finally on speaking term again. Ha this show makes me so happy. It really does make a bad day alright.

Food:Hot Cheetos. Best thing ever. I love Hot Cheetos.

Magazine: I'm going to have to go with Seventeen. I've been reading that magazine since I was like 12. I love the stories, and the affordable fashion they show you. Too bad my subscription is almostttt over this year.

Threeee.

Day 3. A picture and/or description of your favorite place in your world. And I’m not talking about like France or Greece. I’m talking somewhere you visit daily or atleast fairly often.

I didnt ponder this question for long, the answer came to mind almost instantly;
My room.

I spent so much time planning, and changing my room to make it the way it is now, which is perfect. I grew up afraid of living in the basement, and afraid of moving downstairs on my own. I finally came to terms with those fears, and moved my butt down stairs. It started out as just any old room, but over my high school years I have changed, and so has my room. I am imensly happy with what it is now. Weird to be so obsessed with a room, right? It's my sanctuary, and when I need somewhere to think and collect myself it's where I go. It's not just my bedroom, it's more than that. I'll document some of the changes that have taken place over the years.

You can ignore my crazy sister, and look behind her. My room started out like that 4 years ago. A tiny log twin bed. Ugly white walls and nasty gray carpet.

About a year after that I bought my dream bed from a friend for about 1/3 of the original price. Yet the walls and carpet remained the same; BLAH.
About a year later we painted the house, including my room. I painted it yellow and got the bedding you'll see in the last picture. I thought I was happy with my room. Until the fateful day that an old friend of mine put his head through my wall. We then found out I had water damage, and tore the wall out. His stepdad helped us patch it up. Because of that my room is now a dream.

After fixing the wall, I got to repaint. I chose my favorite color greeen. From there it was easy, I knew exactly what I wanted. Not going to lie, I'm weird. I'm 17 years old and my room has a theme. The theme? Black and white and green. For the most part I live by that theme, therefore making my room home.

I've spent countless hours cleaning, and changing all the intricate details, and I am perfectly happy with the way my room looks now. (:

Dos.

Day 2. A picture of one of your celebrity crushes and 5 things you would do with/to them. No questions asked.

Mmm, this is harrrd. There are so many hott celebs. It's kind of a toss up... Winner is;
Chace Crawford. Oh, what a babe.

Things we would do;
1. Have coffee in New York, chat it up. We'd go to one of those fancyshmancy places he always takes girls to on Gossip Girl. We'd flirt, make googly eyes, you know the norm.

2. After coffee he'd show me around New York, starting in Times Square.

3. Then we'd go shopping for a wonderful dress for #4. And he'd pick me out something amazing.

4. We'd go to a movie premire, get dressed up all fancy like.

5. Then we'd go back to his place and watch movies and drink warm drinks and cudddle allllll night.

So that is definietly my biggest dream..

Runners up;
Ashton Kutcher

&& Shia LaBeouf

Can someone please tell me why real guys dont look like this?

30 day challenge. (:

Lately I've seen a lot of blogs with this "30 day challenge", which is basically a question for each day. So I decided I take a crack at it. Why not? Here goes.

Day 1.
Your name and 5 things about you that no one really knows, in no particular order;

Hey, I'm Sarah. In case you didnt catch that already.

1. I cant stand posers. You know, those people who pretend to be someone they're definetly not. When I see that I almost feel sorry for that person. Be proud of who you are, people!

2. I want to go into the hair bussiness. Yaknow, beauty school? Eventually I want to own my own salon and be wildly successful. Ha

3. My best friend is a 4 year old. You think I'm kidding, right? Well I sort of am. But seriously though, I spend more time with this kid than just about anyone else. I love him to death and I'm so glad I still get to see him and his family. Looove them.

4. I HAAATE being lied to. I cant stand it. It makes me want to give said liar a swift kick to the face.

5. I still sleep with a nightlight. I dont like the dark, sue me.

So, that was day one. Hopefully I can keep up on this for the next 30 days. (:

Classic, or not?

Back in the day everyone knew the classics; Pink Floyd, The Rolling Stones, The Beatles, Aerosmith, AC/DC, and many more. But what about the classics today? Are there any? I don't really know, nor can I think of any. When you ponder the music of the current generation, what comes to mind? Britney Spears, Christina Agulira, Miley Cyrus? God forbid those names be considered classics? Is that what really want our kids to look back on and say 'oh yeah, that's what our parents listened to.' Frankly, it's smut. If you listen to the lyrics of 2 out of the 3 songs we listen to on a daily basis, all you are going to hear is how, this guy wants to have sex with this girl, or how, this guys wants to drink and smoke all day. In the 60's through the 90's, or so, everyone had the same favorite bands, and the same taste in music. Now almost no one has the same taste, or favorites. Where did the classics go? Honestly, why can we not get over this shitty music hump, and go back to the classics that everyone likes.

Downer Day.

June 13, 2005; One of the hardest days of my life. It was retched, horrid, and terrifying. It was the day my uncle died. I wont rehash any of the details, but it wasnt pleasant. Point is, today is the 5th aniversary of his death. While it is most definetly not a day to celebrate, it's also not a day to forget.
I've spent the past 5 years thinking about him, nearly everyday. Each year I dread the looming days before the 13th. I know you're supossed to look for the positives in a dark sistuation, and remember the good times. But what if you were to young to remember most of them? Then what? That is where I stand.
I was in the 6th grade when he passed away, and I didnt see my uncle very often. I remember few things about him, but the things I do remember will hopefully never fade.
One of my favorite memories was a night that I was laying in my bed, playing with my Barbies, and unannounced to me, my uncle came over. I remember him storming my room and tackling me. He wouldnt let up once he started tickling me either, I am the most ticklish person. I remember lying there in a fit of laughter and forgetting my embarassment of someone finding me playing with my Barbies. But to this day, it's still one of the happiest, and most vauge memories I have.
I remember a few quirks about him too, like how he could never tell a joke without bursting in to hysterics before it was over. You had to tell him over and over again, stop laughing and finish the damn joke. Another is, he always left his car door open. You'd walk outside and know exactly which car was his, on account of the fact that the drivers side door would be wide open. He also never failed to give me a compliment. Whether it be that my hair looked pretty, or that I was looking thinner, he always had soemthing nice to say. Sure he was my uncle, but that wasnt why he did it. He truly meant everything he said.
I miss my uncle more than anything, and everyday I wish for him to be here with me again, or for me to at least have more memories of him. But I wanted to write this passage, in order to symbolize that I still think about him, and I still love him.
Rest In Peace Uncle Garth, I love you.

An excuse to blog.

You get to learn more about me, I s'pose. (:

A - Attached or Single: Single.
B - Best Friends: I dont give that title to people anymore.
C - Cake or Pie: Pie.
D - Day of choice: Friiiday.
E - Essential Item: A camera of some sort.
F - Favorite Color: GREEN.
G - Gummy Bears or Worms: Worms.
H - Hometown: SL,UT.
I - Indulgence(s): Mountain Dew.
J - January or July: July. Bring on the warmth.
K - Kids: I dont know if I want kids. At least not in the near future.
L - Life is incomplete without: People.
M - Marriage Date: Mystery to me.
N - Number of Siblings: Uno.
O - Oranges or Apples: Apples.
P - Phobias or Fears: Phobias; Needles. Or spiders. Fears; Love.
Q - Quotes: "Never, never, never, give up."
R - Reason to smile: Oh, life.
S - Season: Spring.
T - Total contacts in your phone: 239.
U - Unknown fact about me: I'm terrified of being hurt.
V - Very favorite Store: Ohh, PacSun.
W - Worst habit: Cracking my knuckles.
X - X-ray or Ultrasound: I've had an X-Ray..
Y - Your favorite food: Hot cheetos. Ha
Z- Zodiac: Aries.

Starting.

The only way I can simply sum up my life is; my life. My life is simple and fantastic, yet challenging and horrific. I have my ups and downs, but doesn't everyone? I have a strong opinion on just about everything, and I don't hold it back. I fight for what I think is right and what I believe in. Everyone says "you'll never meet anyone else like me" and the truth of the matter is, we're all different, even if we say the same things. We're all our own person, some of us more alike than others. But individuals are like snowflakes, no two are exactly alike. So instead of sitting here and rambling on about how different I am, why not just get to the point; why did I start a blog? I'm starting this blog because I have many thoughts and ideas that I have yet to share with anyone but my dogs, and I feel like typing it out and publishing it in a way will help me solidify some of those ideas. If that makes any sense at all, to anyone but me. I didn't do much explaining of myself in this paragraph, but I already know myself, so why further the knowledge?